It is now 2015.
Everyone is simultaneously looking back while looking ahead.
I’m surrounded by friends, family, colleagues (for lack of a better word) and plenty of complete strangers all making New Year Resolutions. From the inspired to the ridiculous, everyone is eager to take advantage of a symbolic fresh start and move boldly forward with plans, goals and dreams.
And so am I. But not in the way any of you might expect.
I’m beginning 2015 with a confession.
I can’t do everything I want to do.
I’m taking a step back. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. Believe me, I’ve tried. This past year I’ve crammed in a full time job, Positively Nerdy and it entails, started taking care of my health like never before (down 40 lbs so far), spent time near and far with family and friends and most importantly tried being the best husband and father I can be.
Not to mention the considerable list of things I’d like to be doing, either in addition to those listed above or other completely new (and frightening) ventures.
It’s a lot. And I rarely have done all of them to the level of my own personal satisfaction.
A desire to excel and give my best to something is a relatively new concept for me. I’d made a living out of coasting through, or rather around, obstacles and my mantra might as well have been ‘good enough’. But good enough is no longer good enough for me or for anything I do, big or small.
So, regrettably, I’m taking a tremendous step back from the podcast, reviews, videos and more that you’ve all come to expect from me. I can’t create that content to the level I want, and admittedly have not performed to that level in some time, so it’s time to take a step back. Creating content for Positively Nerdy is incredibly demanding and time consuming. I don’t tell you that to make you feel sorry for how I choose to spend my spare time but I also know that some of you have absolutely no idea how much work goes into it.
I need to put more into the other aspects of my life and re-evaluate the rest. I need to put more effort into my family and whatever new directions that might lead to in the coming year. I need to become a better employee – if only for the paycheck and the promise of more and larger paychecks. I need be available to friends and family without stress, distraction or sleep deprivation. I need to see if a band of six brave orcs or a guilt-ridden space hero have a home anywhere other than my daydreams.
And while I may not need to podcast and create other content for Positively Nerdy, I’d be a fool to give it up. Positively Nerdy has been a part of me for two and half years and I’ve been lucky enough to have an outlet for my opinion for a few years before that. It’s given me friends, memories and opportunities I never could’ve imagined. I can’t simply walk away. I don’t want to and even if a few days ago I thought I would, I won’t let myself. But I can’t do it all.
So for the next few months, I hope you’ll be satisfied with simply listening to ‘Ryan and Leah: At the Movies’. We have so much fun recording it and it’s the part of Positively Nerdy that receives the most feedback and I know those two statements go together for a reason.
I have had some comics sent to me recently by creators both generous and foolish enough to ask for my opinion and you’ll see those trickle out soon but for the foreseeable future there will only be the twice-monthly love fest of all things movies.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for your understanding. Know that my step back is a smarter decision but will not mean less hard work. And whenever the time is right and in whatever format, know that someday I will have more to share with all of you that is sure to be Positively Nerdy.